Paranoia?

A couple of thoughts I had in the first week of September, a tumultuous time in my life, with unexpected ups and downs as always, cringy moments that I wish I could forget forever, and tons of introspection. 

What if, my life is yet another instance of The Truman Show? I’m not talking about my life being scripted and broadcast in any way. What if, every single person I know is in it together. What if everyone I know is part of a plan, and each of them knows what I’ve been upto. What if, nothing is private? Maybe what I tell one person reaches every other and they all laugh and sneer behind my back. Remember the entry where I mentioned two people close to each other might be pipes leaking information? This is paranoid Akhil’s interpretations of those thoughts.

Never open yourself up completely. The more you open up to others, the weaker you get, the stronger they get. The harder I try to stop myself from opening up, however, the harder I fail. I need to stop doing this. I need to stop caring, maybe. Not because it’s a bad thing and we should all live like sociopaths. But because everyone maybe part of a great plan. Everyone might be laughing at you because the one person you opened yourself up to might share it with the rest. Caring isn’t an advantage. 

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