The Monthly Roundup: November 2016

Yet another month comes to an end and there’s just 31 days till 2017. I just can’t wait for the year to end, given 2016 has been trash for pretty much everyone. Here’s a quick compilation of all the thoughts and journal entries I’ve made in this month. In case you’re curious, I use Journey, probably the best journal app for Android, to jot down my thoughts. Some of these thoughts might be clichéd as fuck, but what the hell, it’s only with life experiences that you realise general truths are, in fact, truths. So let’s begin.

Never use words that you know with full certainty will hurt the feelings of others. Words are easy enough to find and throw about, but they do cause real pain. It’s not easy to repair that damage. Sure, the person might forgive you, but the scars still remain there, reminding everyone of the wound that used to be there. 

The world around you might seem all grim and hopeless, there might be days when you just can’t get yourself out of bed and it just seems much better to end this existence. What you need to remember at that point is that none of this is permanent; no matter how things are now, they’ll change. Things will always get worse before they get better.
There’s only so much you can do in a lifetime. Life is short and the time we have here is limited. I feel it’s better to spend that time being happy without having any kind of fights or disputes with anyone. Oh man, the hypocrisy I’m spewing out right now is unbelievable. 

After a bit of introspection, it seems to me that I’m a bit of a masochist when it comes to burning down bridges. I drive people away from my life and complain about being lonely, but to be brutally honest, I actually find a sort of sick pleasure in doing this, in knowing that I was the one who caused the bridge to burn in the first place. Maybe it’s because that’s the only way I can parse the fact that people actually do care about me. Maybe not.
Never assume you’d be good at something until you’re good at something a bit lower on the same ladder. Never judge, never assume.
Sometimes you just have to let go of the situation and let life take you wherever it takes you. Stop being the obsessive compulsive control freak that you are and let events play out as they do. Last night and this morning was all so much fun. But this would never have happened if I had not relieved myself of my controlling tendencies and just lived in the moment.
So maybe, I don’t like burning down bridges. Maybe I don’t do it because I like it, maybe I do it because I’m just too good at it, so that no matter what kind of bridge I set up, it ends up burning. And in spectacular fashion. #BurningBright

I feel burning down bridges is probably the only thing I excel at. I mean, I must have burned so many of them down, I must be what arsonists see in their wet dreams. So many fights that just start out with things I said or did, which end up in arguments and then abandonment by me. Seriously, sometimes even I question how I’m able to leave everything and burn it all to the ground. Maybe the nihilist and anarchist within me have combined together to actually affect even my relations and emotions.
I’ve seen tons of videos on procrastination and I still can’t beat it. I always give in to the temptation of short term gains over long term goals and I suffer the consequences most of the time. Even if I don’t really suffer the consequences, I face all the stress and the tension till I finally make it.

What is so different about my brain that I keep procrastinating even though I know the science behind it, the ways to beat it, the consequences of giving in and what not. I just hope that my plans work out as I intend them to.
Seems like I’m just so cranky nowadays. Tempers are running high and my moods shift constantly at random intervals. Need to get my shit together. Life rarely takes us to places we want to go. The optimal solution might be to just take the punches as they come and do the best with the cards you’ve been dealt with. Be stoic and maintain distance from everything and everyone. Maybe.
In other, less-depressing news, I’ve been watching a lot of videos by Domics. Love his style of drawing, mostly in the newer videos and the comedy in his narration. Nevertheless, if I were to ever start a YouTube channel, which is highly unlikely, that would be how mine would look like.

That’s about it really, that’s all I’ve written in my journal this month. Certain parts have been redacted for private reasons, and certain entries which I deem to be too private have been avoided. I hope you like this little compilation I’ve done, so do let me know if you’d like to see more of these roundups in the future. Also, how was your November? Let me know in the comments below. 🙂

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